My own Anniversary Games DRAFT

The short story.  I finished!  I didn't die!

That used to be enough.  But now, rather frighteningly, it's not.  I completed it last year in a time of 3:41.  If I was going to do it this year, I had to beat that time.  Or else, in my little one-track mind (well, I guess three-track), the entire year would have been for nothing, and I might as well have spent more time sitting on the sofa, eating curly wurlies*.

But where could I make the difference?  I spent a good few days analysing last years results.  I downloaded everyone's times into a spreadsheet, setup pivot tables, printed graphs, ran statistical analyses, conditionally formatted columns, you name it.  My conclusion - in order to beat my time last year I had to go faster on the swim and/or bike and/or run and/or transitions.  Yes, it took me a spreadsheet to work that out.  Told you I was bad at mental maths.

The longer story.  I finished!  I didn't die!  I beat last year's time!

There were a few things that I had forgotten about last year's race.  Like the dreadful nerves that made me so tense and scared that when CS asked me to help with directions in the car I shouted at him "I can only just swim, bike and run.  Don't ask me to navigate too!", and then promptly burst into tears.
That memory came flooding back when we had exactly the same conversation this year.  Oh, how we laughed.  Not.

The second memory came back around half way round the swim course, when I was sick in my mouth.  I also remembered that - just like last year - my own sick tasted much better than the dock water.

The very long story.  ie boring race report......

The Swim
Last year's time 42.  This year's target 39:59 or faster.  This year's time 40:02.
Gah.  Fell at the first hurdle.

The Bike
Last year's time 88.  This year's target 79:59 or faster.  This year's time 72:59.
What can I say?  New shoes!

The Run
Last year's time 71.  This year's target 59:59 or faster.  This year's time 58:35
Unbelievable.  No, really unbelievable.  The course had to be short.




* To be fair, I have spent more time sitting on the sofa, eating curly wurlies.  Just don't tell anyone.

My Olympic legacy?

What a difference a year makes, eh?

Except it's not quite a year, and there's not much difference.

This time last year was the day before my own personal Olympics - the Virgin Active London Olympic Triathlon.  Except this time last year was actually in September, delayed from its usual date because of some other sporting event in London being held in July 2012 - can't quite remember what it was.

Thanks to my last blog, I can remember exactly how I felt the day before my own personal Olympics - I wrote it all down here.

So, what's changed since then?  How do I feel the day before my own personal Olympic legacy?

Well, I am proud to say that, unlike most of the British public, I have actually done more exercise since my last Olympics.  It's still not enough, but is it ever?  Nope, none of that talk for now - let's concentrate on the positives......

The swim
Last year I felt a bit like "Eric the Eel", but even slower.  He was the bloke who swam the slowest ever 100m in the Olympics in a time of 1 min 52 seconds, and my record at that time was a measly 2 min 24 seconds.  I am pleased to report that a couple of weeks ago I managed the same distance in 1 min 49 seconds.  And I had witnesses.  Get in!

The bike
New shoes!  Need I say more?  Probably, but I won't for now.

The run
I can now run 5k faster than Mo Farah can.  Run 10k that is.  Yes, I am now slightly faster than twice as slow as Mo.  Just call me SloMo.

Put them altogether, throw in a couple of transitions, a new wetsuit, a stick of lubricant, and a multipack of curly wurlies, and what's the worst that could happen?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

In other news....

At the Anniversary games this weekend, Usain Bolt won the 100m without even trying, Mo Farah won the 3,000m in a British Record, and David Weir broke a few more records without even getting up.  To top it off, Christine Onokajagoogoo actually won something too.   No pressure, then.

Not all the gears. Still pretty clueless.

You know those lists declaring a random number of random things that you *must* do before you reach a random age?    I hate them.  I especially hate them when they have to be done before you die.  Like maybe you can do them after you die?  Ridiculous.

One of the reasons why I hate those stupid lists is because if I had one of those stupid lists I would list stupid things on it.  Like cycling up Ditchling Beacon without stopping.  Or crying.  And then I would stupidly tell people.  Like Inspirational Steve.  Who would insist on coming with me to "help" by cycling behind me all the way and threatening to beat me with a stick if I was to even think about stopping.  Or crying.

Let me introduce you to Ditchling Beacon in five "fun" facts.

1. It is one of the steepest roads in the South of England.   
2. It was part of the route of some French bike race in 2004, where it was not only classified as a climb, but also had a number after it.  
3. It features on the London to Brighton bike ride, and it's the main reason why I've never done the London to Brighton bike ride.
4. It is a climb of over 150 metres along a stretch of road just under a mile long.  That works out at an average gradient of just under 10%.  And yes I had to use my calculator
5. The lycra-clad speed freaks have a training session every year which involves going up and down Ditching Beacon as many times as possible in three hours.  They call it "bashing the Beacon", and the record stands at 15 bashes.  This year they have invited me along, and it's not just to hand out curly wurlies at the top. 
6. It's a mere couple of miles away from where I live.
7. I can't do mental maths

The short story
I did it!  I bashed that Beacon!

The medium story
I did it!  I bashed that Beacon!  I didn't even use my lowest gear!

The long story
My gears are broken, and have been ever since I got my new bike a year ago.  My lowest gear doesn't work - I didn't even know it was there.  Inspirational Steve kept telling me to drop down a gear to make it easier, and I kept wanting to punch him because I couldn't.  That's when we realised that my geary twiddly thing wasn't geary or twiddly enough to go to the lowest gear.  Oh, did we laugh?  Well, one of us did.  The other one collapsed in a heap, gasping the words "curly", "wurly" and "now".

The proof

Ditchling Beacon, as presented on Strava.  So steep they categorised it three times.
The KOM is Chris McNamara (surely not THE Chris McNamara?).  I got up it in 8 mins 59 seconds and managed to rest for a whole second.  

14th July - DRAFT notes

Slap on bottom for being so bad at updating blog over the last couple of months.  Excuse is that I've been too busy training to write about training.

Stuff to talk about....

Cycling

Goal from last year ACHIEVED.  

Beacon BUSTED!  

NEW SHOES!  

Puncture.  Learning to fix a puncture.  CO2 pump 

Time Trial - no longer QOM, gah.

Bike porn - Bianchi

IOW with Mikey and his dad.
GOT OUT OF NEWHAVEN!  Tour De France stuff (two days I did more than they did)

Running

Preston Park parkrun

P blinking B!  How did THAT happen?  

Goal from last year ACHIEVED.  (Tri suit that matches my running shoes)

Swimming

Goal from last year ACHIEVED.  Until realised that it was a 25 YARD pool, not 25 metres.

Jumping up a lane on Thursday session by blatantly cheating

Blowing bubbles?

Garmin and sea swimming

Eogan swimming

Volunteering - parkrun (BOLLARDS!) Aquathlon.  Being given a free place in a 10k run for helping out.  But whole point of helping out is to avoid actually having to take part.

Other news

Kittens - giving Priscilla away.  Keeping Shouty McShouty, aka Boggle

Cooking - "Add a can of ratatouille....."

Body Balance.

Entered Vachery competition

Zurich

Strava

Sun 7 July DRAFT

Time trial - with wine (oops).  7 minutes off PB
Triathlon with new wetsuit - cold.  Run with Prestige
Parkrun 5k - insulted by Andy.  Overtaken by an even-toed ungulate.