I've had a few issues with injuries, illnesses and panics over the last few weeks, and I'm way behind with my half iron training as a result. OK, the new Ikea catalogue didn't help. The nice new duvet with London Underground duvet cover and matching Mind the Gap pillow covers weren't making it any easier. Throw in some very cute extremely affectionate (albeit flatulent) cats and a CS who kept bringing curly wurlies to my bedside WITHOUT EVEN BEING ASKED, and it was amazing I've ever managed to get out of bed at all over the last few weeks.
This week, Inspirational Kurt held a race briefing, and I really needed to get out of bed for that. However, there was a bit of a problem.
Recently, due to recurrent infections "down there", I've been having enormous difficulty
a) wearing pants and
b) keeping my legs together
OK, I admit, I had similar problems back in the 90's, albeit for completely different reasons.
The only clean dress I had was a cheeky little black number, which used to work perfectly back in the 90's, but wasn't really suitable for a considerably older woman attending a race briefing**. I felt very sorry for everyone sitting opposite me. Which was pretty much everyone, at least at the start.
Anyway, during the briefing, Kurt ran through everything we needed to know about the race, a lot of things we didn't need to know, and quite a few that I never want to know but now can't unlearn. He then mentioned that each of the swim, bike and run courses will be different to last year. Pardon? I've been practicing last years bike course every week for the last five weeks! Well, I would have if I'd ever been able to cycle more than half way without collapsing inside established financial institutions
But to my absolute joy (well, as much joy as you could have when thinking about a half iron race), Kurt announced that the bike course was basically one lap of Carats to Newhaven and back, followed by a stop for a bowl of chips, then basically Unnngggghhhh's time trial route. I could have kissed him. Not only can I do that course, it's pretty much what I have been practicing for what feels like most of my life. Well, the chips bit anyway.
Annoyingly, the swim course still involves getting cold and wet, and the run course still involves running, but then you can't have everything.
So, today, I had a go at the OFFICIAL bike course. I finished! I didn't die! I stopped for a curly wurly! All in a smidgeon under 4 hours! In fact it went so well, that I saved the chips until after I'd finished the bike course. It then went so well that I managed to skedaddle 7k of the run course before I collapsed into a heap of blood, sweat and empty curly wurly wrappers. I then headed back to my London Underground bed, flatulent cats, and an unlimited supply of curly wurlies, where I still am and intend to be for at least the next 48 hours. Now which one of those cats just dropped that particular stinker? Ah, I think it was me.
** Ha! A briefing but no briefs!
